UPDATE: Since the posting of this blog it has been made known that the person behind the avatar Eva Luxury did not pass away in real life. I will not elaborate on the circumstances around this situation as I don’t care to, nor do I care to voice any feeling on the matter one way or the other. All I wish to say is that I do not regret my post and the feelings that motivated it were real, despite everything else. My post as follows remains unchanged. ~Prisilla
This is not a fashion post. This is me, sharing a bit of who I am with you.
As many of you already know, the SL fashion world lost one of its brightest stars in the real life death of Eva Luxury. I will not profess to have been one of her friends because I wasn’t. I never got to know her like others did. I had seen her a few times on the grid, been in a few competitions with her, followed her blog, and watched her as a part of the Miss Virtual World pageant. I was stunned and saddened to hear of her loss earlier today. I knew there would be an outpouring of love and sorrow from those who new and loved her and I was not mistaken.
I was surprised to find how deeply her death touched me. I have been thinking on why that is all day long. My sweet SL sis Liat Reina jumped into grief counselor mode with me earlier to help me sort my feelings. I have to say I have been fortunate to not have lost many in my RL or SL and I am tremendously grateful for that. Last year my school lost its namesake and my husband lost his mother within days of each other. I did not fall apart. I knew our namesake on a friendly level, and my mother-in-law and I did not always get along. It wasn’t until some time after both funerals when someone asked me how I felt about it all that I really allowed myself to feel their loss. I did my part as an educator at my school to be there for others, and I did my part as a wife to be there for my husband and his family. Prior to these two events I have had no meaningful experiences with death and I am certainly not looking for more. I have also had my own medical scare that left me wondering what really happens after death as I have fallen in and out of various religious beliefs.
Death upsets me more than I can comprehend and I find myself extremely moved at the loss of Eva and reliving the previous losses I have suffered and being forced to face the fact that death is a reality that we cannot escape. SL is an escape, SL is where we go to do and be things we cannot in RL. Every once in a while death interrupts, and prior to Eva’s passing I never had someone I knew in SL pass away (I have been in SL for 6 years), although I have known of people passing away, this time was just different. This time it was closer to the part of SL I am so actively a part of and those I know and care about.
From what I knew of Eva she was most certainly a rising star and to see her gone, upsets me deeply. My heart goes out to her RL and SL family and friends.
I rarely express my opinion or feelings on an issue on this blog. Perhaps this is the beginning of me using my blog in more ways than just to highlight the latest fashions. As a writer I felt driven to express myself in print, to release all the ideas in my mind and weighing on my heart.
As always I appreciate you taking the time to read my blog.
“I’m the one that’s got to die when it’s time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.”
~ Jimi Hendrix